A connection beyond our skin.

A couple of days ago I had a dream where I saw my grandmother again. I was telling her all about my Vitiligo project and how amazed I was with the way it connected me with people, and just living my condition in a way I never imagined before.

But now that I think about it, I am not sure it was just a dream. I want to believe she was actually here and that it was a real conversation, even if it was just in my head.

Having her this present in my mind, reminded me about something somebody told me before. But first, I have to share with you that my grandmother also had Vitiligo. I am not sure at what age it started in her case, I believe it was maybe in her mid 20’s. Sadly, we never spoke about it.

I knew since I was little that she had vitiligo, because when my mom used to take me to the doctor. Whenever they asked her if there were vitiligans in the family, she would answer yes; her mother-in-law and her brother. So, I always knew I had it in both of my families, but my grandma was so light skinned that I really never noticed it.

When I decided to start with my Instagram page “Mi Vitiligo y Yo” (My vitiligo & I) I realized that I didn’t even knew their story. We never spoke about it and sadly I never got the chance to ask my grandmother to share it with me, before she passed away.

Sharing my story took me to want to know more about hers, and I discovered that she never really healed from the inside and struggled to accept it.

She had a rough path with her spots. People made her feel she had to always cover her skin and made her feel less. Then I realized, that I always saw her with long sleeves, tights and long skirts. I mean it was also a part of the look she learned she had to use in her time but I can’t get of my mind that it also helped to cover her skin.

My heart ached when I knew she suffered and never got a chance to see it the way I did. Of course she got the chance to see me not care what people thought sometimes. She always told me how proud she was that nothing ever stopped me for doing everything I always wanted. She always encouraged me to live my best life and reminded me how lucky I was to have so many people always having my back.

Even though I know she is always looking, I would give anything to share everything that happened these past 2 years since I decided to share my story. I would have loved to see her face when I showed her models with Vitiligo showing their skin loud and proud. To show her that the world is changing and that we are talking more about it, creating awareness and educating people on the matter. So there is no more bullying or discrimination.

And what somebody told me one day in a more spiritual way, was that sometimes we come to heal wounds from our ancestors and that maybe that’s why stories might repeat until somebody has that closure. And I couldn’t help thinking that maybe that is another reason of why I got to live with this condition as well.

I like to believe that my connection with her was special, and I never thought it was because we shared a similar skin. But now I do like to believe that it's because I get to heal for the both of us. That I got to live my Vitiligo in another way and now talking about it like she never could.

So, my dear Manuelita; this is also for you <3

Andrea Islas

IG: @MiVitiligoyYo